Insert sad face here. Sad, angry face, that is.
I can overlook a lot of parenting practices that I wouldn't choose for myself and my family. Really. It used to be that everything got me up in arms, but a while ago I decided I just can't get outraged by everything. One of the things I haven't been able to let go though is sleep training, controlled crying, Cry It Out, whatever you want to call it. It just makes me so freaking sad. Babies crying alone in a dark room? How can that NOT make someone sad???
Plenty of people defend this practice. Plenty of people feel it's important to train babies to self sooth, sleep alone, go to sleep at X time.
I just can't get past the fact (yes, FACT, people) that babies cry when they have a need. What else are they supposed to do? They can't talk. Oh wait, your baby is fed, has a clean diaper, and isn't hurt...so that's that? No more needs to be met? What about the need for human contact? What about the need to have mom (and dad too!) close? The need to be held and cuddled and protected?
See why this makes me so sad?
I guess people have their reasons for doing this, whether some family member or doctor suggested it, or maybe they just can't take the nightwaking anymore. I know the nighttime parenting is the hardest part of babyhood/toddlerhood for me. Being tired sucks. But hearing my babies cry when I'm RIGHT THERE and could pick them up if I wanted to sucks even more.
Sorry, this just isn't for me. And reading about it, hearing about it...ugh. It makes me want to go stick my head in a hole and yell La La La La until it goes away. I like pretending that this doesn't exist.
In the end, I can only do for my own family though. I wouldn't have even blogged about it except it's just making me SO FREAKING SAD that I've heard/read about this more than a few times this week. I so wanted to suggest that parents read Dr. Sears' Nighttime Parenting or The Baby Book or even The No Cry Sleep Solution by Pantley. That nightwaking and needing human interaction and parenting to sleep is NORMAL. I want to share that there are options, that your babies will eventually sleep.
Really. They will. And then mama can sleep too. No one said this whole parenting thing was going to be easy. Big hugs for tired mamas!!
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Sarah slept through the night at 11 weeks, Caleb at 9 months. Miss Anna? Stiiilll not sleeping through the night at 16 months. Some nights when I go to bed, I pray... I BEG God to let me just get 3 or 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. We've never let our children cry it out. I suppose if this went on for a few more years I might consider something more drastic, but for now I'm mostly sane.
ReplyDeleteJulie said... I never let you, Sheri or Amanda cry yourselves to sleep. My thought was that if you were crying, that you needed something. I guess I always thought that was the way a baby communicated because they can't talk. I always felt that I could figure out what was wrong. Even though I was a young Mom, I felt like I knew what to do. I would never let a baby cry it out. I heard from my Mother that they used to let me cry alot, because I was always crying. That makes me sad. I must have needed somthing and didn't get it. I know that I was a sick baby, dealing with asthma even when I was little. I am glad that you are a Mom that doesn't let your kids cry it out. I believe sleep time should be a happy time. Sheri, you always went to bed happy and woke up happy. I love you!!! Love, Mom
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